So for those of you who are suffering from a tremendous loss and also have kids, my number one piece of advice is: Just Get Up. Get out of bed. Run if you can. Walk if you can. Shower. Get Dressed. Be present for your kids. I know it’s not easy. I know you just want to shut the world out. Five years later, there are still days that I have to tell myself to just get up. But five years later I am just so damned proud of myself that I just got up. #grief #stayinbed #keeprunning #runningthroughgrief #widowwithkids #justgetup
Ultimately, here is the lesson that I have learned from being a young Widow. There are three types of people in life but there is just one simple math equation that matters. If the sum of Group One and Group Two is greater than the amount in Group Three….you are blessed. #running #grief #friends #kidsgrief #moveon #widowiwithkids
Nathan’s 7th birthday was two months and 19 days after Gordie died. How could I make his birthday fun and memorable for him when his Dad would not be there? #kidsgrief #losingyourdad #birthday #hawk #running #OaklandRaiders
Sometimes running helps turn my mood around. It allows me to shed my anger on the road like a snake sheds its skin. After those runs I can let go of whatever is bothering me, my body relaxes, and I feel literally lighter. But not today. I was even angrier after I got off that treadmill. Sometimes running through grief just does not work. Those days are some of my toughest days. #solomom #soloparenting #widowwithkids #competitive soccer #angrygrief #baseball #parenting
About two months after Gordie died, the investigation came to an end. The Sergeant in charge of the investigation called me and told me he and the Coroner were ready to meet with the family. I asked him for a preview of what they would tell us. He told me that they had ruled out homicide but had no other answers. They were unable to figure out exactly how Gordie got into the pool on that day in March and why he was not able to get out. I hung up the phone and screamed into my pillow. #investigation, #running, #grief, #suddendeath, #unexplaineddeath
Solo parenting is not what most would choose. I was terrified about solo parenting when I was widowed five years ago and I was right to be terrified. It’s exhausting, it’s frustrating, it’s frazzling, and it’s scary. Surviving solo parenting takes extreme energy, discipline, perseverance; balance and careful arrangement on a daily basis. #soloparenting, #running, #grief, #parenting, #widowswithkids
The nights are like a slow motion movie. I developed a late night obsession of trying to find some sort of connection to Gordie. I was desperately searching for a connection to my husband who was now gone. After months, I confessed my nightly obsession to my Therapist and asked if she thought it was weird. She smiled and shook her head. I was relieved. #running, #grief
For the five weeks following Gordie’s death, I hid. But when it’s your best friend’s birthday, it’s time to come out of hiding. #girlsnightout, #grieving, #grief, #landoftheliving, #running, #girlfriends, #whitewine
It seemed like such a typical night for our Family. Only it wasn’t. It was the last night for the family that I thought I would have the rest of my life. #ilovemyfamily, #lifeisprecious, #familytime, #lifeisunexpected, #running, #grief
Every kid would love to throw the first pitch at Opening Day for their Little League…except when you get asked only because your Dad died. #baseball, #littleleague, #openingday, #grief, #kidsgrief