How one woman used #running to help survive the loss of her husband and raise two boys on her own.
Unfortunately I cannot blame them for their conversation. I have never made them banana bread. Ever. I barely cook for them and the only baking I have ever done for them is out of a box. When you are a widow who has a crazy job, works a ton, and has two kids who are equally busy, there is just no time to bake.
Ten years ago today my husband, Gordie, died suddenly. Sometimes I feel like he has been gone for 50 years. Sometimes I feel like he has only been gone 50 days. My sons and I have moved forward with our lives but it has been a rough road. Here are ten things I’ve learned in the ten years I have been a Widow. 1) It…
My Mom died last month. Unexpectedly. Once again, I have been stunned and devastated by death. But this time my Mom is not here to help me.
Last week I spent a glorious six days in a place that makes me happier than any other place on Earth. This place is a small Idaho town nestled in the Payette forest with a lake surrounded by mountains. Magical McCall.
Summer, for me, is the easiest time to be a Widow with kids. It’s the only time of year where I can somewhat catch my breath. It’s the time of year when I can spend more time with my kids. It’s the season where I am actually, ever so slightly, a better, more fun Mom. It’s the only time when I can actually relax for more than one hour a month.
This week a 15 year old boy drowned in a pool at a local highschool in my town. I have been unable to get him and his family out of my mind. I do not pretend to know the grief of losing a child but I do know what it’s like to lose someone in a pool. Death, in any circumstance, is horrible. Death by…
As I peddled my indoor bike, I thought about it. Maybe National Widows Day is intended to bring awareness about Widowhood. So, I asked myself “what would I want people to be aware of regarding Widowhood?” Here is what I came up with.
So, that’s why my heart hurts this week. I feel the pain of all these people who lost someone in Las Vegas. I experienced this pain with Sandy Hook in 2012, the year that Gordie died. I wrote about it back then and will share it soon on my blog. But this week I have been unable to stop thinking about the Las Vegas victims’ families.
Grief has never really left our home but it has a much quieter presence than it did a few years ago. It is no longer nearly destroying our lives on a daily basis. But I know it will most likely rise up again and there is nothing I can do to prevent it. I live everyday knowing my sons’ grief will come back. And I will continue to scour them for signs that it’s here. Like many other widows and widowers with kids, I’m just waiting for it. Waiting for the grief to return. #widowwithkids #childrensgrief #kidsgrief #keeprunning #runningthroughgrief
I just lay there awake all night staring at the ceiling thinking. What the hell had just happened? How could my husband be dead? How could my sons lose their Daddy at such a young age? How did Gordie get into the pool and how was he not able to get out? How was I going to raise these boys on my own? What was I going to tell Nathan in the morning? Where are we going to live? I can’t go back to that place. What if we had stayed in Colorado? This would not have happened. How will I ever go back to work? Who will take care of the boys when I have to go back to work? And the worse thought that made me physically nauseous all through the night…did Gordie suffer? #suddendeath #widowsnightmare
